It isn’t Hanuman, the heroic monkey-warrior of the Ramayana, that is the protagonist of this story; the monkey brothers Vali and Sugreev — and their tragic misunderstanding – are the focus. Hanuman was an aide of Sugreev, the younger brother of Vali who ruled Kishkinda in southern India. How the simian siblings fell out and the price that had to be paid to resolve their animosity are archetypal of misunderstandings that happen in our daily lives.
According to Chaitanya Charan’s Wisdom from the Ramayana, there are many relationship lessons that can be drawn from the Vali-Sugreev sub-plot in the great Indian epic. Chief among them are the importance of not being judgmental without understanding all sides of a story and the steps that can be taken to work out a reconciliation. But before we get to that, let us look at what sparked the misunderstanding between the siblings.
Demon in the cave
Sugreev, the less powerful of the two brothers, was happy playing second fiddle to the mighty Vali. Both lived in harmony and jointly administered Kishkinda. One day a demon, Mayavi, challenged Vali to a one-to-one fight. As Vali marched out, Sugreev insisted on accompanying him. Spotting them emerge together, Mayavi fled.
Vali, however, decided to go after the demon. Sugreev followed him. After a long chase over tricky terrain, the demon spotted a mountain cave and rushed in. Before going in, Vali asked Sugreev to stand guard at the mouth of the cave as he grappled with the demon.
Boulder blunder
Suddenly, a long, shrill scream rent the air. Sugreev was perturbed. He could not make out whether it was a cry of victory or defeat. He waited for Vali’s footsteps. Not a sound. He began to despair. Should he go inside the cave? What if Mayavi was alive and charged at him? Would he survive? What would happen to Kishkinda if the demon killed him? What was the right thing to do?
Finally, Sugreev came to a decision – he would block the mouth of the cave with a gigantic boulder. Having done that, he trudged back to the palace with a heavy heart. After much cajoling by ministers and subjects, he sat on the throne.
Eyeball to eyeball
A few months went by. One day, Vali showed up in Kishkinda, eyes shot with anger. When he saw Sugreev on the throne, he flipped the lid. All his suspicions that Sugreev wanted to topple him were confirmed. He had been uneasy from the time he found the mouth of the cave blocked. It had taken him a while to regain strength after the fight but he had expected to find his brother waiting. Alas, the traitor had betrayed him.
When a furious Vali confronted Sugreev, he tried to explain what had happened. But Vali would not listen; in his mind, he had unilaterally judged that Sugreev was a traitor who had plotted against him. Seeing the hatred in Vali’s eyes, Sugreev fled the kingdom. But the arrogant Vali would not leave him alone. He chased and persecuted Sugreev till he took shelter at the hermitage of a sage Vali had angered by disrupting his rituals.
Paying the price
Years later, when prince Ram – Ramayana is the story of his life — was searching for his abducted wife Sita, he struck a deal with Sugreev. As part of the deal, Ram agreed to sort out his animosity with Vali. He asked Sugreev to challenge his brother to a fight. After the first few rounds, Ram shot a lethal arrow at Vali, injuring him grievously. Ram’s reasons were that Vali’s multiple acts of aggression against his brother and taking Sugreev’s wife Ruma for his own deserved nothing less than death.
Slowly, the wounded Vali ran out of breath. Ram’s arrow and his strong words had pierced his heart mortally. He acknowledged that he had been wrong in not listening to Sugreev, driving him out of the kingdom and attacking him repeatedly. He had realized as much, he said, but his pride had come in the way of his speaking up. Vali then apologized to Sugreev, requested him to look after his family, gave him a celestial necklace for his protection, and passed on.
Do not judge
We must note that Sugreev and Vali were both virtuous characters undone by a misunderstanding. Although Sugreev’s actions had triggered the unfortunate chain of events, he had no way of clarifying if Vali was alive. But Vali, as impetuous as he was mighty, had ample scope to find out why Sugreev acted as he did before branding him untrustworthy, power-hungry and a traitor. Here lies the lesson: we must never judge anyone hastily without understanding every side of a story.
Much as we dissect Vali’s flaws, we must not forget that Sugreev was instrumental in instigating the killing of his brother. To atone for his sin, he expressed the wish to die alongside Vali but was counselled out of it.
Road to reconciliation
There are three steps we can take to resolve a misunderstanding, which Chaitanya Charan terms the three A’s. They are:
(i) Acknowledge: We must acknowledge that we have hastily judged or condemned someone without giving him a chance to explain his action;
(ii) Apologize: We must say sorry for the wrongs we have committed, knowingly or unknowingly. Just like harsh and arrogant words can antagonize and split, gentle and kind words can heal and unite;
(iii) Amend: We must do whatever we can to rectify the consequences of our action and heal the damage it has done. This is crucial because, as they say, actions speak louder than words.